Friday, March 23, 2012

Back to Work?

So Gavin has had his first full week of daycare this week.  We think he loves it.  The girls love him, he talks to them all day long.  He is completely worn out when he gets home, but never-the-less refuses to sleep through the night!

I seriously thought I would be back to work by now....but.....I'M NOT! I accepted this new job and went to put my notice in at my old job. The HR manager there told me not to come back from maternity leave.  Meanwhile we had already arranged a start date at the daycare so Gavin had to go no matter what.  The lady at my new job assured me it would only take 5-7 days from me accepting the offer to get me started there which should have been this week.  But alas, I am here, at home, not working.  Wow, do I feel worthless.  We can't afford daycare, my parents were kind enough to give us money to pay for it, but that was only enough for this week. We were making such great progress getting out of debt and then this happens.

What was I supposed to do? It wasn't supposed to take this long! I email my new job almost daily requesting an update and letting them know they are causing me tremendous financial difficulty, but I guess all attorneys work at their own pace (which is never fast enough).

Don't get me wrong, I love having my house clean and dinner ready when Joe gets home.  But I don't love being at home in this nice clean house with no baby. It breaks my heart to watch Joe walk out the door with my baby every morning to take him to "school" and knowing I will be in this house all day long with nothing to do.  I can't just trot around town and spend money because we have no money for gas much less shopping. So I sit, check my email 5,000 times a day, write my daily email checking on status and usually end up caving and getting Gavin early from school. 

Today I got Gavin at 3:00 to spend a little extra Mommy - Son time HOPING and PRAYING I start work on Monday.  I just sent them an email telling them the financial difficulties they are causing me and telling them that I have been looking for temporary work until I can start there in hopes of kicking them in gear. No lie, I've spent all day looking for work to do until I can start.

My sister-in-law and her fiance are on their way to see us now, they should be here in 2 hours.  We are going to have a fun weekend, hopefully not spend a ton of money and hopefully I will keep my mind of the feeling I have of being worthless...wish me luck.

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